Food for thought.

Life is unpredictable, at least for me it is. When I use to think of my future, as a teenager or even when I was in my early 20's,  I didn't picture this current life. Life hasn't gone the way I had imagined. I haven't traveled the world, or found the love of my life. I am not a famous musician, artist or anything of that nature. Now I just look at life with curiosity as I really don't know where I am headed. I often feel lost. I love what I do but I don't know if I have found my calling. I wonder what else I am capable of accomplishing. I want to do something GREAT. I want to do more. I want to create. Nothing is stopping me from doing these things, my life has not become stagnant, but I always thought that by the time I hit 30 I would have answered all those questions. There is a scene in a movie I often think of  when I ponder my direction in life. In this scene, a woman is complaining that she had her life all planned out but nothing has worked out for her. She lives in Greece, a place that she studied about and believed to be miraculous, but she was unhappy and cranky all the time.  She complains about every little inconvenience in her life. Instead of being a university professor she had to settle for a job as a tour guide. She hates her job, hates her tourist group and hates her current life. She can't see the beauty in anything and is constantly miserable. The bus driver she is complaining to her responds by asking in a truly perplexed tone "but how do you plan life?"  Little did she know this unhappy place she was in, this job she had to take, ended up being the thing that she needed. Life is just unfolding and with each layer that is revealed, we just deal with it. Everyone's life is different but they are all equally meaningful. We are all where we are supposed to be.

At 34 years of age, I have experienced some things that a lot of people would never experience.I've seen a lot of triumph, and I seen a lot of sorrow. I am accustomed to hearing heartbreaking stories of abuse and pain ( although you never get used to them). I have been assaulted by those who no longer have control of their minds. I have felt emotions I never thought I was capable of feeling. Some of the stories I hear and witness commonly now are those I use to think only existed on television. I learned that hard work and positive outlook don't always have good outcomes. In fact, sometimes people who don't try get lucky. Some people are also born lucky as others are born the opposite. Sometimes things that you didn't want to do turn out to be the best thing you ever did with your life. Or it can just take one mistake to change everything. You can also just meet one person that will change the way you see the world.  Nothing plays out according to any rules. We really don't know all that much. Yet knowing what I do know has become evidence of growth and evolution. I know there is so much more I haven't experienced. Emotions create their own dimension of existence that changes the world  completely. The world also continues to change through emotional development.   Yet I have only a drop of existence. 34 years is not a long time to live, and my personal experiences are a very narrow range of experiences. Everyone else is has their own parallel universe the world they live in. They only know and feel only what is their own. The world is a spectrum of color we have all yet to completely perceive. Somehow we all manage to live together somewhat in harmony. It's a miracle. When I was  younger I must have been living in black and white and now I am only living in the gray. Who knows what the world will look like 20 years from now.

The more people you know, the more bits you receive and the more vivid your life becomes. Connection with others connect you to a whole that is bigger than just yourself. We are a giant mainframe of shared experiences if we plug in. We are all connected. Sometimes I am in awe to think, that even as a intensely emotional person, I have not experienced what so many others, who have come before me or after me, has. Also, there are many things I will never experience. There are so many ways to exist in life. Knowing this makes it really hard to say no to new opportunities. Each time you say yes life can be a different party, or an alien planet. I think of all the times I had said no before... what did I say no to?

Things that have changed in my perception (a small snippet):

As a younger person I felt this way:
1) Someone who had a different opinion than me was always wrong. They taught me nothing. In fact, they made my opinion on something even stronger.
2) Though I was happy when someone else had something I wanted it was hard not to be envious. Sometimes other peoples happiness separated you from them and created a divide because it felt like there wasn't enough to go around.
3) Limitations meant that you weren't good enough. They felt like a ceiling.
4) Keeping to my closest friends and comfort zone was all I needed to know.
5) I believed that spirituality or religious beliefs were only a way to control the minds of the masses. Keeping people at a distance and distinct from you gave you a greater identity. Having a greater separate identity gave you more power. Power comes from standing out.

Things that are meaningful with wisdom:

1) Meeting someone who thinks differently than you is a blessing and a window to another dimension of life. You can learn a great deal from others that are different from you through sharing their experiences of culture, love and knowledge.
2) When someone gets something you want for yourself this shows that there is enough for everyone. Happiness is something sacred and shared. It's a great and wonderful thing when someone wants to share their happiness with you.
3) Having a limitation is a good thing because it becomes empowering to know what limitations you have. The awareness allows for change and forgiveness. Also, on the topic of change, that change occurs no matter what, so change for the better because you have a choice.
4) Making meaningful connections with people on a daily level are important ways to contribute to yourself and to others. Increasing your social circle with meaningful relationships increases your vitality.
5) Spirituality brings everything that seems separate together. Being together and connected to others makes you a stronger person. Your learn about your strengths through interactions with others. Power comes from positive things you can do for others and yourself.



Fast forward 20 years later, what will these lists look like? What other ways will I change, or this world even?  This world has changed SO SO SO much since I was a teenager in high school. Did you ever think about this? Write your own list. See what has taken place in your lifetime of development and where you want to go. Though we don't control all aspects of life, it doesn't mean that we can't reflect on the road we have taken. We can still have hopes, dreams and aspirations. We just have to know that those hopes, dreams and aspirations might change, and that's Ok. Also, other opportunities may "get in the way" and we can take another route and see what's around the corner. Or maybe we are following a plan, we just don't know  we are following a divine plan. Whatever it is, we should enjoy the ride and not fight it.  As they always always say... we are exactly where we should be, doing what we are supposed to be doing, and feeling what are are supposed to feel whether we like it or not. Food for thought.

Mala beads, beautiful and mindful at the same time.

I would call myself a creative person. I have always loved making things, drawing and painting. I've dappled in pottery, glass bead making, I've made plush toys and I have even gone the terrarium route many many times. Recently I've been creatively fueled by a new "old" love of mine that I thought I would never engage in again.  This time around I plan to really fine tune my craft. I am making jewelery!!! But not just any kind of jewelry. I am making Mala beads. Even though no one knows what Mala beads are everyone will be familiar with the look. They are commonly worn by Buddhist monks. Now a days, they are a fashionable piece of jewelery. I got into Mala beads because I have been focusing on increasing spirituality in my life. I have been trying to meditate and wanting to incorporate it in my everyday life to balance my mind.  However, like all those who have tried meditating, it's a struggle to keep focused on the moment. Sometimes sitting there seems like some sort of strange torture you are putting yourself through. Other times something else seems much more tempting, such as watching TV or surfing Facebook. Though working through those tough moments are really rewarding. One of the things I have been asking for while meditating was to find my creative spark again. See... it works!

Some people think that meditation is hogwash. However, there are many scientific studies that support how meditation is beneficial. There are certain areas of my life I would like to improve on and I believe through meditation I can change these areas of my life.  Many times throughout the day people say to me that I am not present, which is very true. I often forget where my car is, I am not always listening when people talk to me and more often than not I don't even know why I walked into a room. Needless to say my mind is easily distracted. Meditation is supposed to increase your attention to all things in the present moment and help you appreciate all the wonderful things that are in your life right now. It can even ease your mind in a heated argument because it will help you regulate and be conscious of your emotions. Many times people are focused on a story that happened before or on the story they want to star in for the future. How much of our time is wasted focused on the past and future? How many of us are missing the wonderful moments of now? Meditation is a tool that helps you take away the mental static and environmental stress. It will get you back to your real state of being, which is the essence of contentment and happiness. Doesn't that sound wonderful?

Recently my spiritually inclined friend, Michelle, introduced me to mala beads. She found hers at a yoga studio she frequented. She really liked what she saw and didn't know which necklace to choose. However, she was told not to choose the necklace but to let the necklace choose her. Sounds like crazy talk right? The one she ended up with was a necklace made out of unakite and a seed called rudruksha. After she bought it she did some research on the meaning of those materials and it turned out those were the specific things she needed to work on in her life. The necklace DID choose her.  It was a very enchanting and beautiful necklace (and story!). I bought myself a Mala bead necklace shortly after seeing my friend's necklace and used it for many days. It really did help me focus while meditating.

There are many online sources on  Mala beads but here is a quickie. Mala beads are meditation tools  used to help focus the mind while meditating.  It's a necklace that has a very special relationship with the wearer as it fuses with the user and gives the wearer good energy. While meditating it helps you along the journey by reminding you to focus with each bead and not get distracted. You can use it by going along each bead while repeating a mantra or breathing in and out. My belief system leans towards the Buddhist view point and once I heard that karma is something we collect from all our past lives. It will explain why bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. As the karma is collected, it takes time to ripen and it can ripen during your current life time or in another one. This can also be represented in the mala as our past lives are the individual beads on the string, all connected to other another in a loop as a whole. Use those beads to see a bigger picture. We are recycled energy that holds a past and a future. Keep mindful of your actions and try to make good karmic choices.

Each necklace has 108 beads plus one guru bead. As you move across the necklace you repeat your intentions or focus your body in the present moment until you reach the big bead that sits at the beginning and end of the necklace (guru bead). This is the bead that all your intentions are collected in. Sometimes you can also think of the bead as a deity that you are "praying" to (depending if you are religious). Word of caution, you never meditate on this bead. Instead you use this bead as a turning point and rotate your necklace around so you can start meditating back to where you came from. They also say that when you reach the guru bead it's a good time to reflect on your intentions. When you get to the end of your meditation give your efforts to someone in mind. The sacrifice of giving away your generated good karma is a Buddhist tradition. You can give to someone in need or someone who has recently passed away. Don't worry about losing this good karma for yourself because the more you give the more you receive. Keep that in mind.

While making mala beads you can choose whatever materials you want. I chose to use real semi-precious stones, wood and seeds so that my necklace is connected to nature in some way.  Every stone you choose has a specific purpose. They say that the stones generate energy fields that gets in tune with your body's electromagnetic field to help you in some way. The internet is a good source for finding the significance of different stones. For example, rose quartz is for attracting love and making you more able to receive and give love. Jade is good for protection while traveling. Howlite is good for fostering patience. Amazonite is good for aiding in communicating and also to heal issues associated with the throat. You can customize your necklace to suit your needs. I like to use Rudruksha beads as well. They are beads made from the seeds of a berry. The seeds are considered sacred in Hindi and Buddhist religions. They are gifts that the Lord Shiva gave to people to heal humanity, aid them in abundance and also protect the wearer. They are referred to as the tears of Shiva.

I really do love my mala beads. They are special necklaces but also beautiful to wear. If you need a little help focusing on your meditation goals try using one. If you just want to look hip and cool they are nice additions to add to your jewelry collection.

The pictures posted above are the Mala beads I made. The necklace is made using howlite and rudruksha beads. It's hand knotted and also has a yellow jade pendent and a silver charm. I've made several but this one is my favourite. One of the bracelets is made of rose quartz and the other bracelet is a complimentary bracelet to my necklace. They look nice when stacked together or alone! Make your own! They are fun and interesting to assemble and learn about. I plan on opening a store on Etsy to sell the jewelery I am making as I am really enjoying this process. I know I will be making many of them.  I'll put a link on here when I get it up and running. Thanks for looking and may you be present and happy!

Veggie Wontons!

I am a meat eater but once in a while I want a break from all that meat. In general I'm trying to cut down on meat intake for health reasons.  However, dining in a Chinese restaurant, that is not vegetarian, leaves you with little options especially when you go out for Dimsum. Dumplings often  have either seafood or meat. Even home cooked dumplings are made with pork or chicken. My parents always say that dumplings MUST have meat and shrimp. Thankfully and not too long ago, I went to a restaurant called Dynasty in Richmond. They are famous for their steamed pork dumplings. No doubt, their dumplings are awesome. We always order them. On this day, I also noticed they had a steamed vegetarian dumpling on the menu. I ordered it as well as it piqued my curiosity. It was a dumpling made of veggies and ground tofu. I was very pleased with the flavour. It was mild, yet savoury and especially good when you dipped it in the vinegar-ginger sauce.

Today I attempted to make something similar but instead of dumplings I made wontons only because it's easier.  They were very tasty! In this photo the wontons are sitting in a bed of soy sauce and sesame oil. Yummy! They are soft and delicate with a bit of a crunch because I added in some chunky asparagus bits.  Below is the recipe if you'd like to try.  Here's to a healthier dumpling!

Ingredients:

4-5 cups of green leaf vegetables. (sounds like a lot but once you blanche them it is very little)
2-3 slices of ginger finely chopped
1 teaspoon of pureed garlic
1/2 carrot thinly sliced and diced.
2 thinly sliced shitake mushrooms.
1/2 pack firm tofu
1 pack wonton wrappers
 4 stalks of asparagus
4-5 tablespoons of Braggs or soy sauce
1/2 bundle of  cooked bean thread noodles


Saute the garlic, carrots, mushrooms and ginger in some olive oil until cooked. Add the greens and saute until wilted.

Put all items in a food processor. As the ingredients mix, add in the tofu and bean thread noodles. Slowly add the soy or Braggs sauce. Taste as you go along for flavour. The tofu is quite bland so the more the better.

You will end up with a fine paste almost like the consistency of hummus but a little rougher. Chop up your asparagus and saute lightly. Mix your paste with the asparagus. This speckled green and white stuff is your filling!

It's now time to wrap the wontons. Wonton wraps seem to have a side that has more flour. Place the flour side down. Put a dollop of  your paste in the center. You shouldn't put too much otherwise the filling will squeeze out of the wonton.  Wet the edge of a spoon with water and wet two edges of the wonton wrap.

 Fold the bottom corner up and match it to the top corner. The wet edge will make the two sides stick together. I like to crinkle the sides up into a sac. You can try different ways of wrapping up your wonton. It's also ok just to make a triangle.

Wontons need to be placed on a flat surface barely touching one another. The purpose is the freeze them in this manner before you put them into freezer bags for long term storage. If you don't do this they will stick. If you are eating them fresh, don't worry about it! Just pop them in a pot of boiling water. As long as the skin looks cooked they should be ready as the filling is precooked. If frozen, boil maybe 3-5 minutes.

I ate mine with a little soy sauce and sesame oil but in the restaurant they are served with a dipping sauce of dark vinegar and sliced ginger. Take your pick and enjoy!

Hollowed out light bulbs... they are so fun!

I have been addicted to Pintrest lately and I've been looking up different ways to display plants in the home. I came across this amazing picture that made me move immediately. I particularly liked how the bulbs are hanging from branches. I looked up some videos on YouTube on how to hollow out light bulbs and there were plenty of them. After some failed attempts I found my own way of making these using specific tools.

 

A list of what you will need.

1) Incandescent bulbs (not flourescent): it's ok if they are frosted, the powder inside that makes it frosted washes out easily. I broke 4 bulbs before I got the hang of it so get extra, but just try to use a really light touch and you should be OK.

2) Pliers: several different kinds. I have lots of crafting pliers and I found the different tips made a big difference.

3) Gloves: I just got some working gloves from the dollar store.

4) Glasses: the glass can fly! So protect your eyes!

5) Screwdriver: imperative.

Actually all the above are imperative. I also used one of those foil lasagna pans to work in so that glass doesn't end up all over the table, in my hands, feet...etc... though that did happen twice. It was well worth it. 

After you put on your gloves and glasses, get the rest of the tools you need placed near by. Get your light bulb out and put it in your pan.

 

The pliers I used are NEEDLE NOSE pliers and then the blue one that is much pointier and is round rather than flat. Hope you can find something like that, if not, just something thinner would be good. 

Use your needle nose pliers to rip off the metal covering on the end of the light bulb. It should peel off easily.

   

Next, It's time to break off the black ring you see in the first picture. I used the smaller pliers for this because the tip of the smaller pliers fit right into the little hole that the piece of metal was covering. Just grip tightly around a chunk of the black glass and bend it. It will crack. Once it cracks, you can pick the pieces off easily. Pour out any pieces of loose glass as you are continuing with this process.

This picture is with half of the black glass cracked off. Once it's all off, you'll be left with a glass tube. It is very delicate, but breaking this part of the light bulb is what lead me to breaking the entire bulb. Be very light handed with your screw driver for this part or you'll end up with this:

Stick your screwdriver all the way in until you hit a barrier. Turn your screw driver as if you were screwing a screw but very slowly. Eventually you will hear a crack. You have broken the tube!!! Congrats. There is still a lot of glass that's sharp and unsightly bordering the opening of the light bulb. Shake out the excess glass. Now use your screwdriver to break all the glass that's hanging around. Just as if you were scraping the edges of a peanut butter jar scrape away that glass. You will hear it crunching as you go around the inside rim. If you want it super smooth you can always smooth the inside edges off with your needle nose pliers. Needle nose pliers usually have roughly filing edges on the inside edge. Rub that filing edge on the inside rim of the light bulb. Shake out the glass and voila! You have a hollowed out light bulb! :)

There are lots of crafty things you can do with a hollowed out bulb. Just do your research online. I turned mine into a copycat of that picture I saw. Here it is. I think it worked out pretty well!

 Enjoy your crafting!

What is a flower frog and how to use it.

Flower frogs are objects used in flower arranging that help flowers stay in place.

Some look like this:

The metal spiky one is more common. You can use them to make Ikebana style flower arrangement which are a special kind of Japanese flower arrangement. The glass one is considered vintage and you can find them at thrift stores. It is the only one I have and I don't think they are that easy to find. I am still looking for a small and medium sized one.

The idea of the flower frog is poke the stems through the metal spikes or through the big holes so that they stay in the right place and don't shift. This gives you more control over what you want your flower arrangement to look like.

One of the flower arrangements I have right now uses a spiky flower frog. This is what it looks like (excuse the messed up table):

 Doing an arrangement like this without a flower frog would be impossible because I am using such a shallow bowl. However, if you just add a flower frog, you can really control your design. Add a bit of water and you can have a flower arrangement that can last for a while. 

Here is an arrangement with my glass flower frog:

Just place your flower frog in the vase...

Ain't it pretty? It makes such a big difference having a bit of nature in the house. 

Here are some of my favourite photos of flower arrangements from this week (excuse the yucky window in the last photo please :) )

Indoor gardens: a little bit of spring in your house!

I've been working on a couple of projects these last couple of days. The next couple of posts will be tutorials on said projects. I've had a lot of time since I've been home sick.  Normally when I'm home sick, even if I feel terrible, I can't stand doing nothing. So this time around I spent my time cooking and gardening. I leave the house an hour or two a day to get fresh air but I can't be out for more than that. However, we have been blessed with good weather until today. So the plants and the weather was really a motivating force behind my projects.

Flowers are blooming everywhere right now so I picked some flowers from my backyard to brighten up the house. Looking at the pretty flowers in my house took the gloom of illness away each time so  I decided it was time to go the extra mile. Ideas were floating throughout my head about herbs so I  made an indoor herb garden (hope it works out). I also vamped up some of my terrariums. I would call it cray cray spring fever. It kept me busy and my mind focused and positive. Yay for plants!

Here is my windowsill herb garden. I just used old pots and mason jars that were lying around. I collect glass jars so I had plenty.

There are some creepers in those vases and bowls. Creepers are usually outdoor plants that carpet the ground around other plants but I imagined them to look really nice forming a small carpet in a small space, maybe even creeping out a little. They have pink and blue flowers. I will take a photo to update the growth in a couple of months. If they grow well in such conditions I will try putting some in a terrarium one day.

The 3 pots in the middle are herbs. I chose rosemary, mint and basil as I use those the most. Can you see a vintage pyrex coffee pot? I cracked that last year but have been reluctant to throw it away because it has such a pretty design and is hard to find. Now I have the perfect use for it! That coffee pot is holding the pink creeper.

Here is a look at a tabletop display I have going on. I have an airplant terrarium in the middle. I didn't do anything except add a touch of color from clippings of a purple flowering bush. I like the addition as my airplant bowl never has any color other than green. You can see the rest of the purple bush in my sea urchin vase. In the first vase I have random plants from the backyard arranged with a metal flower frog.

I revamped and repotted my succulent gardens. I love the new succulents I added. I use to have a layer of spagnum moss in the bottom to absorb extra water but I took it out as it absorbed too much water making the soil too dry. Maybe this time the succulents be a little happier. I also put them by a sunnier window. Succulents need very dry soil but I noticed at the plant shop the soil that the succulents came with was quite moist.

Lastly, this vase is filled with flowers collected from my backyard. I love the combo. They look and smell so wonderful. They have quite the romantic feel to them. I used a glass flower frog to arrange these flowers. The upcoming post is one on how to use flower frogs to arrange flowers. I will also write a tutorial on hollowing out a light bulb. These projects were my saving grace for the last three days. Hope you enjoy!

Spring cleaning and Disney World Update!

I am pretty sick right now and so I am lying in bed with the TV in the background and reading my old posts. Blogging tends to increase on sick days but I guess I like to be productive that way. My mind is a never ending story teller so I can only talk to myself for so long. I need to share! I've also taken a bit of a break from blogging in the last couple of months so I got into rereading some of my older posts and it reminded me of a lot of good things.  I notice my memory is going with age. I guess if I don't document things I won't remember them. In some ways that's a tragedy and in other ways it's a blessing. But I do want to remember things, good and bad, so I will try and update as much as possible.

I mostly try to post only positive segments online and keep the deeper and darker posts as drafts but I didn't do that earlier in the year and had to go back and remove them.  I want to keep my public blog as more of a positive place and encourage people to live their best life. So I apologize if you read my previous posts (which aren't there anymore) where I was doing nothing but ranting and complaining and thinking mean thoughts about the world and myself. I'm over that but at the same it was good to see. Blogging is a good gauge to see change over time.

This year so far my January and February were much of a blur. I remember some moments of unhappiness due to a break up but mostly I can't remember anything. I just know that instead of talking to people or hanging out with friends I spent more time by myself. I blogged about my negative feelings so I didn't have to give bad mojo to anyone I knew personally. I went to the gym often in attempt to work out some of my energy and I did a lot of reading. I took a meditation class offered by the Vancouver School Board and it was fantastic. I started to read many books on Buddhism. I started going to the temple. It was a new place that offered a feeling a peace.  I believe I am becoming more spiritual but I wouldn't call myself a Buddhist but who knows what tomorrow brings.

In March I went on a 2 week vacation with my family. We started the vacation in Florida doing all the Disney tourist things with the kids and then went on a Disney Cruise. Disney cruises are amazing! They are so classy and there plenty of fun activities to do. The food tastes  pretty fantastic and their private island in the Bahamas was pretty sweet. Then after the Florida-Bahamas vacation we flew to New York so my grandparents could meet my  nieces. It was freezing cold there and we ate so much I felt sick and fearful of food. Seriously needed a detox when I got back. I will probably do a separate blog on my Spring vacation because the Disney Cruise was just out of this world... everyone should go on one.

Now it's May and time is flying by. Soon it will be summer and the end of the school year. My plans for summer are up in the air right now. I plan to work in summer school and also dedicate some time to volunteer somewhere. Also, a trip to San Diego may be an option.

I feel kinda excited. I want to do something great this summer. I want to learn something new. Maybe it will take me some place I am meant to go or guide to me to do something different with my life. I feel I need a change. I just don't know which way I should be going. But I know as long as I am proactive and following my instincts I'll be where I am supposed to be.