What does it feel like to miss a ghost? A ghost is nothing more than an image and a memory, or a symbol that lives in your mind. Missing it does not make it real. Missing it does not bring it to life. Missing something that's not there only makes you suffer. It may be a mild suffering, or a suffering so wide that you fall in and can't get out... but the only thing we get from missing something is suffering. So why have we been wired to miss things that don't exist yet... or miss something we once had. If you continue to miss this or miss that... you are really just missing out on a moment that can otherwise be great.
In the case of romantic love, I've been told it's based on chemicals. It's a chemical withdrawal from the absence of love. We miss it only because we are hooked on this high that comes from a deep connection with someone else. They always say... you don't miss the person... you miss being in a relationship. Another one is... time heals all. Apparently, with time you lose the dependence and become yourself again. Back to yourself again...that's an interesting statement... as every moment we change...we can never go back to who we once were, yet that is what we are told. I am not even the same person I was 2 minutes ago. How can anyone go back to who they were before when they met someone that had changed their life experiences? You can't wipe it all out. Personally, I know you don't always forget someone and you can still miss someone even after a considerable amount of time passes. It's not always just a fear of being alone. However, with time, you either let it keep bothering you or you gotta let it slide. You just give up on letting that feeling of missing someone matter. The feeling of missing that person becomes a passing thought and nothing more. I don't think time heals all. I think time just wears you down. Like a brand new mountain, it's sharp and jagged but with time... even the sharpest ridges smooth right down. The resistance is what makes everything so much harder. But still... why?
In the case of missing someone who has passed away... sometimes I think that's easier because you know they are really gone. They are probably someone you love, someone who was important to you, and someone who didn't hurt you, or they could be the opposite. Missing them still hurts but the closure is in the death itself. You know you will never bump into them. You know they can't come back and spend time with you. There is a real finality there. It makes more sense that missing them hurts, but could hurts less. It still serves no purpose as it creates such great suffering but it makes sense. They are really gone. I have lost only a few loves in my life. My greatest lost love is my grandfather. When I think of him sometimes I still get a slight teary eyed... he died when I was 16... that's nearly 20 years ago and my mind is still so attached I can't think of him without an emotional reaction. There are those who have lost children, their life partner, their parents...and the loss is great. The loss is inconceivable. But why must we suffer so much along with the loss?
I guess my real question is... How do these emotions serve us? If we are a formula designed to outlive and outsmart the rest, to survive, and to move on, why would our brains collect and hold ghosts that haunt us. Why would we be held hostage by emotions? Why do we have a brain that limits our ability to live in the moment?
I mean negative emotions are not always a black hole you can't escape. With maturity and having enough experiences in life those emotions are often what drives people to change. It teaches you to be compassionate. They drive you to help others. They tap into a well within hat you were unaware of before...the shared well of the human experience. Joy and suffering...things we all feel... all in the same well. It can create great growth and change. But that's not the case with everyone. Many are held hostage by their fear, anxiety, and sadness. They have no tools to break free. In dark times dark emotions take over and they can hardly see the light. Why do we have this powerful tool developed by evolution that serves to create all we know today and also debilitate us all with just one thought? I don't know...
With a blink of an eye your world can turn upside down. What you thought was once there is now not. What you thought was reality, is now just history. The world can be unknown and scary...or it can be a journey that is exciting and new with every step...
I guess... try not to take your moments for granted.
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