After searching Chapters up and down during the New Year I found the last remaining calendar that wasn't a giant wall calendar or a mom's guide to this or that calendar. In fact, it was exactly what I had wanted. It was a beautifully decorated book small enough to fit into my purse and was made by a company called Paper Blanks. They make beautiful paper products with a wide array of elaborate and funky designs to choose from. My design is called Safavid and was inspired by the Islamic Golden Age marked by the gold filigree. It seems that each Paper Blank design has a name and a historical source of inspiration. The moment I saw the calendar I felt a deep connection with it. Maybe it was because of it's beauty. Or maybe it was because it had fit the journal in my mind so perfectly. From that day on I used my calendar vigilantly with a conscious mindfulness. I tried to record as much of my daily events and used it almost like a journal. Little did I know this little book and this process served a greater purpose for me than just organizing my client sessions and social events.
This morning, while looking through my calendar for upcoming wedding events, I thought about something that had happened in the recent past and went in search for the date. While flipping back I decided to do a review of my year in progress. I started from January, reading each and every entry. Most of the entries were full. Each day was dappled with detail. I was amazed at all the things that had taken place in the last 3 months. I felt a bit of awe mixed with sentimentality. My eyes widened as I re-experienced all my days. There were those notes I wrote when something had touched me that day. Some words jumped out at me more than others. Other days I had adorned events with only symbols and pictures. For instance, the day my nieces were coming for a visit I drew a little heart. On another day I had gone on a date with special someone and I drew a little smiley face. I still remember the feelings I had when I drew those pictures. With those memories, doors were opening to other memories that have been put away. Conversation flash backs occurred in milliseconds. The delicate features and gestures of talking faces blinked in and out of my mind. Moments of fun and laughter came in and out. Like a picture I saw snow on my face and frost on my nose. The cold white snow blizzard was blowing around on a frozen lake. Moments of excitement and moments of shock happened all at once. Then there were moments of comfort and trust and moments of fear and pain. It was like they reminded each other that they were part of the same memory. Just like a flip book those pictures kept appearing, only for a moment, but felt in the whole. Chunks of events, buckets loads of emotions, all in one go. The passage of time was passing through my fingers as I turned each page. How strange it is to relive life that way. How wonderful it was to appreciate those things that gave you so much joy again. I was very grateful for all those memories. It was heart jolting and heart warming. Though it was only April, so many things have already passed.Thousands of moments had come and gone. Many of them were once cherished experience and then had somehow gone to the waste bin of my mind, forgotten and discarded until now. Others, were vivid flashing neon signs that fought and screamed for my attention. Those were the memories I had
not been able to let go of just yet. I realized how unjustified that was.
I felt thankful for all those little tugs at my heart. If I didn't have a moment to reflect today I would have forgotten how precious all my moments were. It gave me an appreciation that I haven't been able to feel lately. Sometimes it feels like you are just chugging your way through life like an exhausted engine going from one place to another. Parts of the journey seem so pointless and rather cruel. But after reviewing my notes I realized my life wasn't a bunch of wasted experiences that never added up to anything... and life wasn't exhausting and meaningless. It was, in actuality, really great and full. It was like a bunch of ripe citrus fruit exploding with juices and flying through the air. It was a tropical fruit salad! This calendar was just a little chapter in the chronicle of my life and the 3 month snippet was inspiring. It gave me a reason to celebrate. I saw what I have been given and felt happy. I am grateful of my full life. It is full of hard work, exploration, fun, play, lessons and most importantly love. You have to make ALL things count.
They say don't look into the past as it is gone. They say it doesn't help to open up old wounds. But there are more than just wounds in the past. In the past, there is light, there is love and there is the essence of your creation. Looking into the past can give you the wisdom to unlock the restraints of rigid thoughts, at least for a moment or two. It can help you forgive and it encourages you to move forward. It can give inspire greatness and it can remind you of the amazing life you have if you look away from the bright neon flashing signs. Sometimes it offers a memory filled with happiness and sometimes it offers one filled with pain. But if you look with a mindful heart you will realize that these feelings are equal. One is not greater than the other. They are all just part of the fabric of life. What I got from today was an overwhelming sense of gratefulness... true gratefulness for the fullness of my life. I AM GRATEFUL for the good and the "bad". Alone, memories can make time stand still. If you focus on one particular memory too much the others get lost. However, if you put them together time moves again and life looks dynamic, monumental and vibrant. So don't get stuck in one moment. Look at the big picture. Put all the pieces together and be in awe of the puzzle that is your life. It is a true masterpiece.
Every droplet of water is small and insignificant by itself even if 1 drop can cause a ripple. However, when a multitude of droplets come together they lose their identify and form lakes, oceans, and sustain life on Earth. They create abundance where there was once nothing. Our experiences, good and bad, may seem daunting and meaningless on their own. However, when you put those droplets of existence together they provide the great abundance of knowledge and direction that enable us to flourish, elevate and grow. This is our unique recipe. It is the sweet and the spice of life. Embrace it all and be thankful.
Happy Easter
I felt thankful for all those little tugs at my heart. If I didn't have a moment to reflect today I would have forgotten how precious all my moments were. It gave me an appreciation that I haven't been able to feel lately. Sometimes it feels like you are just chugging your way through life like an exhausted engine going from one place to another. Parts of the journey seem so pointless and rather cruel. But after reviewing my notes I realized my life wasn't a bunch of wasted experiences that never added up to anything... and life wasn't exhausting and meaningless. It was, in actuality, really great and full. It was like a bunch of ripe citrus fruit exploding with juices and flying through the air. It was a tropical fruit salad! This calendar was just a little chapter in the chronicle of my life and the 3 month snippet was inspiring. It gave me a reason to celebrate. I saw what I have been given and felt happy. I am grateful of my full life. It is full of hard work, exploration, fun, play, lessons and most importantly love. You have to make ALL things count.
They say don't look into the past as it is gone. They say it doesn't help to open up old wounds. But there are more than just wounds in the past. In the past, there is light, there is love and there is the essence of your creation. Looking into the past can give you the wisdom to unlock the restraints of rigid thoughts, at least for a moment or two. It can help you forgive and it encourages you to move forward. It can give inspire greatness and it can remind you of the amazing life you have if you look away from the bright neon flashing signs. Sometimes it offers a memory filled with happiness and sometimes it offers one filled with pain. But if you look with a mindful heart you will realize that these feelings are equal. One is not greater than the other. They are all just part of the fabric of life. What I got from today was an overwhelming sense of gratefulness... true gratefulness for the fullness of my life. I AM GRATEFUL for the good and the "bad". Alone, memories can make time stand still. If you focus on one particular memory too much the others get lost. However, if you put them together time moves again and life looks dynamic, monumental and vibrant. So don't get stuck in one moment. Look at the big picture. Put all the pieces together and be in awe of the puzzle that is your life. It is a true masterpiece.
Every droplet of water is small and insignificant by itself even if 1 drop can cause a ripple. However, when a multitude of droplets come together they lose their identify and form lakes, oceans, and sustain life on Earth. They create abundance where there was once nothing. Our experiences, good and bad, may seem daunting and meaningless on their own. However, when you put those droplets of existence together they provide the great abundance of knowledge and direction that enable us to flourish, elevate and grow. This is our unique recipe. It is the sweet and the spice of life. Embrace it all and be thankful.
Happy Easter
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