Why??!!

Today by mid afternoon my anxiety had gone down. I feel good and positive. I felt more capable of dealing with different kinds of stress. After work I came home, ate dinner, watched tv and meditated for a bit. I was sooooo tired. For sure I was going to fall asleep. Why?! Why?!?!!!!! Why can't I sleep? And I keep thinking about things too, especially things I can't change or have control over at this very minute. It's frustrating not being able to rest. 

Yesterday after typing out my thoughts onto this blog I was finally able to sleep. I just cAnt get certain things off my mind. My mind knows it's not good to peserverate but the heart won't let go. 

While meditating today I did have an epiphany and it was how my body truly is the Universe. It kinda clicked. I am soothing myself. I am healing myself with the power I have within. It's not from something out there. All I need is within me as I am as big as the entire Universe bc I am a Universe. And I am the only Universe in my life that's real.